- Warning! This story might contain
activities that might not be suitable in selfbondage. Please
- Story ideas by Rebecca.
Written by Bound Jenny.
- Here is the third and final part of Barbie's
ordeal at the hands of the evil yet delectable Madam.
- Chapter 5 - Reconstruction
- Act I - Identity crisis
- I had a lot of time to think. It was Sunday,
and Madam had left me alone today. I dressed and made myself
up. If I was to regain Madam's confidence, to get into a position
where I could have a chance at escape, I needed to shape up.
I had to become the best damn Barbie Doll ever.
- I put on my highest heels, boots with
four and a half inch stilettos, and started looking around the
room. I found no possible place to hide a camera, so I knew I
wasn't being watched. Microphones, however, can be hidden inside
anything and didn't need any line of sight to be effective. This
is when I found my cache, a hiding place for anything I would
need to plan and effect my escape, and to record my story in
writing. I would take that and go to the police, and expose Madam
and get my life back. Sure, it wasn't much of one, but it was
- I chanced the door to my room, and it
was unlocked. I checked myself before leaving the confines of
my bedroom. I walked casually down the corridor to the rear entrance,
and left the house. I was now in the back yard of the estate.
- It was large, and had walkways through
a meticulously maintained garden. The estate was surrounded by
an eight-foot high stone wall surmounted with a two-foot high
ironwork barrier. I looked around, and tried to reach the top
of the wall, in vain. I could touch it, but not grab hold. My
walk around the premises dashed any hope of finding a convenient
tree or other object that could help me climb over to freedom.
The front gate was locked, as usual, and opened only on remote
control, either from the house or via the button in Madam's car.
I couldn't use a phone, because they all had security code lockouts,
and each code limited the phone numbers that could be used.
- On my way back in, I glimpsed something
in a wastebasket. A couple of sheets of crumpled paper and a
discarded pen. I quickly gathered up the precious materials and
hid them inside my jacket's pockets. I then hurried to my room,
entered, waited until my heart slowed a bit, my back pressed
against the closed door, listening for any footsteps in the corridor
or from the Barbie Room. I uncrumpled the paper, climbed on my
bed, reached up, opened the grill to the air duct, and stashed
- I quickly replaced the grill, and got
off the bed, smoothing the covers. I went into the Barbie Room,
and decided to change into a doll outfit, just to please Madam.
I tightened my corset a little, and then I chose a lovely prom
dress, including a petticoat and a nice corsage, and some formal
gloves, and returned to touch up my makeup. I looked at myself
in the mirror, and smiled, thinking, Madam, you're going to get
your money's worth. Just wait.
- Lunch was delivered to me in my room,
by one of Templeton's underlings. She was youngish, maybe twenty.
She still had an innocent air about her, so I figured she hadn't
been in either the dungeon or what Templeton called, "downstairs".
She didn't speak to me as I thanked her, but she curtsied gracefully
before leaving. She was nervous, I could tell. Templeton may
have warned her not to talk to me, probably to keep the girl
out of trouble.
- I ate lunch slowly, as far as my tight
corset could allow me. If I ate too fast, I would suffer immensely
as my belly would bloat slightly. I learned not to wolf down
my food as I used to. Come to think of it, there were some pros
to this situation. I lost weight, I felt better physically, and
looked better, well, if I didn't count looking like a hot babe,
as Jeff wanted to call me.
- I spent the afternoon prancing around
the grounds, acting exactly like Madam expected me to act when
in doll guise, but my eyes and ears were wide open looking for
potential escape methods. When I tired of this, I went to the
library and sat down to read.
- The next morning, I was back at work,
for Madam. She was there, her usual businesslike self.
- "Barbie, dear, I hope you don't resent
me for what I had to do." I shook my head, and lied. "No,
Madam. You had to punish me for my error. And you are right.
I have to perform exactly as you expect me to, even if you don't
warn me. I am your Barbie Doll, yours to do with as you please."
Half of me wanted to barf, the other to burst my corset laughing.
Only the residual burning on my butt motivated me to hold it
- "That's nice, dear. I saw you yesterday,"
my heart stopped momentarily - did she notice my covert search
for an escape route? "You were very pretty, and acting the
part satisfactorily. That is what gave me some hope back."
"Madam?" "That you would continue to be my Barbie
Doll." her voice had a slight tremolo. For a second, I felt
for her. "I will, Madam. I am bound-" she interrupted
me, and took me by the shoulders. "Barbie, I don't want
you to do it because you have to, but because you want to. Do
you understand?" Her eyes drilled into me again, those dark,
nearly black pools reflecting the light of the room. They were
bright, not with excitement, but with tears! She was holding
them back, trying to stay Madam, the strong, in-charge boss.
Right in front of my eyes, that veneer was starting to crack.
- "Please, Barbie..." she implored,
her voice beginning to break. "I'm sorry..." I took
her and hugged her, out of sympathy. I wanted out, but I still
was decent enough to comfort someone in need, even if it was
Madam. This was a new variable in the equation though. I would
have to reevaluate the situation. Rubbing her back gently with
one hand, holding her tightly with the other, I said, "Madam,
I promise to be everything you expect me to be. I will do anything
you want me to be. It's just that Saturday night, I was taken
by surprise. I reacted by instinct. I'm very sorry if I displeased
you. It wasn't intentional."
- I could feel her trembling. This couldn't
be an act! The whites of Madam's eyes were streaked with red.
Was that why I didn't see her yesterday? Could it be that after
making me lose my bladder in fear, tormenting me beyond belief,
that a few hours of introspection would have made her realize
that she did something horribly wrong? That in watching me looking
for an escape, yesterday, she realized that she was driving her
Barbie Doll away? My mind tried to make sense of it.
- "Madam?" I asked, gently. "Yes,
my dear?" "I... forgive you." Now it was Madam
who hugged me tightly, stroking my hair gently, "Thank you...".
She pulled away, and walked around her desk. "I... pulled
some strings, to speed up the process. You're going to need this
if you want to travel around the world with me. We will see things
that you couldn't even imagine. Go shopping together in Paris...
Rome... London... Tokyo..." She handed some items to me.
- I examined the first one. A driver's licence,
registered to Barbara Doll, with all my vitals, but with my transformed,
feminized face on the picture, and Madam's address as the place
of residence. A passport, for Barbara Doll, and it was no fake,
just like the driver's licence. There were other documents there,
everything I needed to be, officially, Barbie Doll. "Madam?"
"Yes, Barbie?" "These are real, official? My old..."
Madam smiled slightly, "Yes, all yours, real papers. You
are now, officially, Barbie Doll." I remained thunderstruck
as I raised my eyes up to look at Madam.
- This considerably complicated my plans.
As long as I could still revert to Greg, it was easy. I could
ditch the wig, wipe off the makeup, remove the fake breasts and
genitalia, slip on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and I was back
in business. No more. To return to my former identity would require
a lot of bureaucracy, in addition to the judicial procedures
I had in mind to begin with. Though it would be easy to reverse
the identity change by showing that I still had my male genital
apparatus intact. I pondered my options, and decided not to throw
a fit or anything. I kept my objective in mind, but opened more
possibilities, including remaining here.
- My mind raced to find something to say.
An insight flashed, and I got down to my knees. "Thank you,
Madam. May I ask one more thing of you?" Madam got down
on her knees too. "Yes, my dear." she said, stroking
my cheek gently. "Guide me, help me, work with me, show
me how to be who is on these." I said, showing my new identity
documents. "I will, Barbie darling. I will." I was
- Act II - Gilded cage
- Madam had kept her promise of guiding
me in being a woman. I worked hard to please Madam, both professionally
and as Barbie Doll. I was punctual, efficient, pleasant, obedient
and patient. There were a few more parties like the first one,
but this time I didn't take the humiliation to heart. I stood
there and bore it. But the tender moments with Madam were wonderful,
and the passionate ones... unforgettable.
- Six months after committing myself to
this life, the hormone treatments had begun to show results.
My real breasts were now small A-cups, or large AA's. My breast
forms were replaced with new ones compensating for the growth.
My real nipples became a little sensitive, and the pressures
of the forms caused some discomfort. Apparently, this was normal.
After all, I was undergoing a sort of second puberty, this time
as a girl, minus the period.
- I was still not allowed to go outside,
accompanied by Madam. Madam probably suspected that I would make
a break for it, given the opportunity. I resolved to tough it
out, wait, bide my time until the opportunity came. Trust is
easy to lose, but very hard to rebuild.
- Though I was virtually imprisoned within
the walls of the estate, I was not wanting for anything. Madam
lavished upon me every possible luxury a girl would want, clothes,
shoes, jewelry, cosmetics, lingerie. I willingly, and playfully,
submitted to her bondage games, which were constantly increasing
- The six-month mark was celebrated in grand,
Madamesque style. In my bedroom, we went through the usual ritual.
I was dressed and bound, and had the best damn sex I could ever
imagine with a woman. She could work magic with her body, casting
her spells on mine and holding me in a state of constant, unending
arousal for hours, until she finally mounted me and we came to
a monumental climax, ending with her hair-raising roar of fulfillment.
It wasn't over.
- She bound me so strictly, in my armbinder,
with straps, ropes, chains securing the rest of my body, that
I couldn't move a quarter inch. I was gagged so effectively that
I could barely squeak. I had never been so tightly tied up in
my life. I found it alarming, and even after the torrid couple
of hours I had just spent, I also found it unbearably arousing.
I strained against the unyielding bonds as Madam ran her hands
over me, gently brushing against any exposed skin with her fingernails,
giving me goosebumps of pleasure. Then she stopped, and left
- I wondered if Madam was to leave me bound
like this for the rest of the night, alone. That would be rather
unpleasant. Then she pulled another surprise on me. She returned
with some more bondage paraphernalia, and I half expected her
to bind me even more tightly. My eyes opened wide when she plopped
herself down on the bed beside me and started tying herself up!
- Madam had some prepared coils of rope
and a few other lengths of rope with small nooses at the end.
She had a small contrivance made of a pair of rings through which
she threaded the end of one of the noose-ended ropes. She started
by binding her feet and ankles together, tightly, and tested
the bonds by moving her legs slightly. It made a pleasant sound
as the leather of her boots rubbed together.
- Madam then tied her legs together, just
above and just below the knee, with two separate lengths of rope,
tightly again. Just the way she was tying herself was erotic
in itself. Her breathing was deep and slightly shaking, as if
the act of binding herself was part of some kind of sexual foreplay.
Well, bondage for her was foreplay, as I had found out myself.
- She attached two of the noose-ended ropes
to her knee coil, solidly, making sure that the nooses ended
up just about at breast level in her sitting position. The ring
contraption was attached to her ankle restraint, the noose up
behind her, with a small, prepared coil of rope threaded through
the untightened noose.
- She took a ball gag and strapped that
tightly onto her head, locking the buckles with tiny padlocks.
She took the key and tossed it onto the floor near the door to
the Barbie Room. Now she couldn't tell me her plans even if she
- Madam donned a high posture collar, and
locked it with another tiny padlock on the buckle. She attached
a short leash to her collar, and then clipped the other end to
my collar. We were now tethered to each other. The key to her
collar went flying near the door too.
- The next was a long coil of rope, and
Madam put that on over her head and started to wriggle into it
until it was tight around her shoulders. More wriggling, accompanied
by jiggling breasts, got two loops under her boobs, and the remaining
two above. She removed one arm from the coil, and took one of
the nooses that was attached to her knee bond and slipped it
over the arm coil's lower loops, before reinserting her arm into
the coil again. She did the same with the other arm, then gently
flopped onto her belly next to me. Her perfume mingled with her
musky sex odor, and that got me well worked up.
- Madam wriggled until the nooses under
her armpits tightened, making her unable to move her arms more
than an inch either way. She inserted her wrists into the coil
behind her back, and then fumbled for the rope going to the ring
device on her ankle coil, and pulled it until she was in a very
tight hogtie. Then it dawned on me: she was as trapped as I was!
She couldn't release me, and I couldn't release her. None of
could call for help, or even crawl to get some. Falling off the
bed was not an option, since one would drag the other down because
of the tether, or at the very least strangle the other. Unless
someone came to free us, we were trapped here forever, until
death do us part. I started struggling, futilely, which encouraged
Madam to do the same. The alarm on her face did nothing to help
- I was powerless, totally trapped, unable
to move the slightest, only able to watch as Madam struggled
furiously against her self-imposed bonds. It was an eerie spectacle
to watch a woman act as though she was tied up at the hands of
another, screaming shrilly in her gag, trying vainly to escape
her captivity as if her life depended on it.
- After fifteen good minutes of this unnerving
scene, she tired, her struggles growing less intense. I saw tears
running from her eyes, which made the act so incredibly realistic.
Madam was breathing hard, impeded by her strict gag. Our eyes
locked, and I could see a spark in hers, something that showed
that she immensely enjoyed her predicament. She wriggled sensually
against her bonds now, and moaned softly as she explored the
sensations of her bondage.
- Her wriggling brought her closer, and
now I could see that those movements were not random. Madam snuggled
up to me, one bound beauty pressing against the other, until
she rested her harnessed cheek against mine. I could now hear
her slow breathing, feel her quick pulse, sense the warmth of
her flesh against mine, smell her sweet-smelling sweat mingling
with the other odors her heavenly body exuded. She fell asleep
beside me, hogtied, gagged, serene. I listened to her, watched
her, amazed, until I fell under the Sandman's spell too.
- Muscle cramps woke me some time later,
I had lost track of time, and was unable to see the clock from
my position. Madam was still there, sleeping peacefully. I couldn't
wake her up, because of my total immobility, and the gag that
stifled every sound. After an interminable time, the door to
my bedroom opened, and I heard the characteristic sounds of a
maid's heels on the floor. I was expecting her to free Madam
first, but to my great surprise, she started working at freeing
me from my impossibly strict restraints.
- I was finally free to move, and speak,
once the infernal gag was removed. Madam had stuffed a large
wad of cotton deep into my mouth, taped that tightly in place
with black electrical tape, then tightly wound and knotted a
pair of pantyhose over that, ensuring that the cotton was solidly
crammed as far back as anatomy allowed. My jaw hurt, and I was
working it back into position when the maid left us alone, before
I could say anything.
- I looked at the clock. It was early morning,
around 6 o'clock. I stood there in my corset and stockings, and
looked at Madam's bound form. She was still asleep. I looked
around, and saw the keys on the small table next to the door;
the maid had picked them up on the way in. I pondered my options.
I decided to shower and dress first.
- I fixed myself up acceptably, and went
to the Barbie Room to choose an outfit. I chose a kind of princess
gown, a lovely white affair with silver accents, bouffant sleeves,
and a long flowing skirt. I had to tighten my corset at least
another inch - hard enough - to just be able to zip it up. I
saw myself in the mirror and was awestruck.
- Back to my bedroom, and Madam was stirring,
in the first stages of waking up. I stroked her hair and cheek
gently, and she moaned pleasurably as she squirmed in her bonds.
A sudden jerk signaled her full return to consciousness, followed
by a brief struggle. "Sshhh..." I hushed her, calming
her down. She remembered having bound herself. She mmmphhed something
I couldn't understand, maybe "untie me" or "ham
pie tea" or something. I giggled softly and started removing
the ropes one by one.
- I worked at the ring device pinning her
legs and wrists close, and now she could stretch out, though
she was still bound solidly enough to remain trapped. I ran my
fingernails along her flesh, which was answered by another gagged
moan of pleasure, and a body covered in goosebumps. I untied
her ankles, then her knees. I turned her over on her back, and
sensually kissed her pussy, her left then right breast, then
her ballgagged mouth. I could tell that this was turning her
on immensely, since her breathing was affected by her shivering
- I loosened the cinching nooses under her
armpits, then flipped her over again to do the same with the
noose that cinched her wrist coil. She quickly freed herself
from that, and sat up in a flash, and more quickly than I could
imagine, released her arms from the shoulder-pinning coil. Her
flesh was covered in dark red rope marks. She sat there expectantly.
I smiled, rose and fetched the key to the padlocks on her gag
harness. I stood there, smiling impishly, holding the key, while
she mmpphed and pointed at her head. Madam stood and put her
hands on her hips, with a mock expression of indignation. I giggled
and unlocked the padlocks, and slowly unbuckled it, and pulled
it off her head carefully.
- Act III - Winter play
- My first winter as Barbie was literally
a return to childhood, both for me and for Madam. We played in
the snow, like kids, making snowmen when the snow was sticky
enough, and snow angels. I showed Madam some snow skills, like
building an igloo. We even had the occasional snowball fight,
giggling like schoolgirls.
- My first Christmas with Madam saw me dressed
as a Christmas tree angel, distributing gifts at the party that
Madam held. This time, Madam stayed close, encouraging me and
whispering promises of ample rewards later. Promises that she
kept, much to my delight, but this time, after fulfilling her
promise, she unbound me, and then told me to tie her up. "Don't
spare the rope, Barbie. I want it to leave marks for at least
a couple of days."
- I obeyed her order, and proceeded to bind
her in the strictest possible hogtie, elbows bound together and
tightly secured to her back, legs bound and cinched as much as
I could muster with my strength, breasts tied, everything taut
and pressing hard into Madam's flesh. I gagged her solidly with
a handkerchief stuffed deeply in her mouth, and secured with
pantyhose stretched as far as it would go before being knotted.
I asked her if she found it satisfactory, and she nodded, unable
to make a sound. Her face seemed to be frozen in an expression
of surprise. I wedged a vibrator in her crotch, and turned it
- Madam strained hard against her bonds,
though she couldn't move any part of her body more than a half
inch. I stroked her skin with my fingernails, gently, and she
shivered in reaction to the pleasant stimulus. I could hear her
breathing speed up, and every few minutes her wide-open eyes
clenched tightly shut for a few seconds, accompanied by a violent
tremor of her body and a muffled growl. I started tickling her
clitoris, which made the violent tremors more frequent, until
Madam finally tensed up hard, the ropes creaking, her eyes rolled
back in their sockets, then she gave a final convulsion, accompanied
by a deep but muffled growl, and went limp. I turned off the
vibrator, and lay down beside her, stroking her hair and her
cheek. She came to a few minutes later, and refused when I offered
to untie her. We slept next to each other until morning, when
she nodded and I removed her bonds.
- Her flesh was crisscrossed in deep red
rope marks, which she caressed with her fingers, shuddering in
delight. She took my hand and put it on the red ring around her
left breast. "Thank you, Barbie." she said. Madam hugged
me tightly, and left to shower.
- One afternoon walk on the grounds together,
as snow was falling in those nice, fat, fluffy flakes, provided
me an insight into Madam's soul, her deepest thoughts.
- "Barbie," she began, "I
want to let you know something. You have done something for me
that no one else has given me." I continued walking along
slowly, beside Madam. "What may that be, Madam?" "Friendship,
real friendship. Not just being chummy because of the money,
like a lot of people. Such fakes..."
- I was thunderstruck. I searched for words.
"Madam, I am sure there are a lot of people out there who
would want to be friends with you, just for who you are."
I know it sounded lame, but I had to try something. This was
- "You don't understand, Barbie...
Do you remember your first day here?" I nodded, keeping
silent despite my almost irresistible urge to shoot back a sarcastic
"Do I ever" or some other smart aleck remark of that
nature. Call it accumulated wisdom.
- "The old, faded Barbie doll in the
hidden display. She was my faithful friend, the only one that
didn't leave me every time my parents moved to another town.
She was my confidante, the one that knew all my thoughts. That
doll heard more things about my inner feelings than my own mother
- "Both your parents worked?"
Madam nodded. "Yes. I saw more of my nanny than my parents.
And of course my Barbie, who never left my side." She paused.
- "You are so much more. You are not
an inanimate plastic toy. You are a living, breathing person
with a heart, a soul, a mind. You are a sister to me in some
ways, a daughter in others, and a lover too. You have become
more than just a plaything, Barbie. It has been less than a year
since you became my Barbie Doll, and in that short time, you
have given me a new lease on life, a new view of the world."
- "Madam, I-" I started, and Madam
interrupted me. "I don't know what I would do if I lost
you." That hit me like a hammer, and I completely forgot
what I wanted to say. Here was Madam, a formidable woman, capable
of obtaining everything she wanted from anybody, opening her
heart, her soul to me, and revealing to me what she could never
obtain, even with all the power and influence and money. She
never had a real, close friend, except that first Barbie, the
faded plastic doll with the worn-out dress, stored preciously
in the display case in the Barbie Room.
- Madam never even had real parents, their
own pursuits of fame and fortune left a little girl alone with
her dolls. Now a mature woman, she had beauty, money, power,
but her heart was empty. A cold empty void that was now starting
to fill and warm up because of Barbie... because of me...
- Then I had a cold knot in my belly. That
last sentence Madam spoke. The question appeared in my head,
then, not what she would do if she lost me, more like what would
she do to me if I left her? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,
they say... If Madam wasn't Satan in person, she probably could
make him do her bidding.
- Chapter 6 - Freedom of choice
- Act I - Opportunity
- The first anniversary of my arrival here
approached. I had not been outside of the estate grounds since
my first visit to the office, virtually imprisoned here, though
I have no complaints as to the treatment I have received, other
than the visit to the torture chamber annexed to Madam's office.
Even then, I was lucky that Madam only frightened me enough to
lose my bladder control.
- I have behaved myself in an exemplary
fashion, which spared me any other visits to that room, and have
not yet been "downstairs", the other dungeon alluded
to by Templeton, and by my deduction, far more frightening than
the one where I peed on the floor. I could not imagine what could
be down there.
- My hormone treatments were increased in
potency, which somewhat decreased my libido. However, Madam's
skillful arousal techniques have more than compensated for that.
My real breasts have swelled to large A-cups, and the doctor's
prognosis is that I could potentially wind up with C-cups, almost
as large as Madam's impressive rack. Even so, Madam promised
that my mammaries would be augmented with implants.
- My body changed also. I lost muscle mass
in the upper body, arms, shoulders, chest, and gained fat in
my hips, butt and thighs, feminizing my figure considerably.
My face's angles softened too. I had fantasized about this kind
of transformation before. Maybe that's why I liked it. I didn't
mind the changes at all. And considering Jeff's reaction at the
office... I decided that being a woman was not so bad after all.
I might even decide to start a new life as a woman, once I get
out of Madam's clutches. I looked good, way better than when
I was a man.
- I woke on a Wednesday morning, early,
on the first anniversary of my acceptance to become Barbie. I
stretched sensually in my bedclothes, and got out of bed. I removed
my nightgown, my stiff night corset, and the chemise under it,
and went to the shower to get ready for the day ahead. The weekend's
"celebrations" had left their marks on my skin.
- I dried myself off carefully, avoiding
excess pressure on the sore spots, and dressed for the day's
work. The usual array of undergarments, including my day corset,
tightened to 22 inches, topped with a gorgeously cut outfit with
a tight pencil skirt and a curve-hugging jacket with a flared
hip section that made my waist look even tinier. I had seen a
picture of a 1950s outfit and Madam noticed my admiration, so
she had it made for me. I was now wearing five-inch plus heels
every day, and ballet heels on a regular basis. This precarious
balancing act became second nature, and I could walk quite nimbly
on these high heels.
- I left my bedroom and started for the
staff dining room. The house was oddly quiet this morning, despite
the hour. My stiletto heels sounded louder than usual on the
hard floor, and the echoes seemed to go on for longer than I
was used to hearing. It was an eerie feeling.
- I entered the dining room, and looked
around. Normally, there were at least two other staff maids already
there having breakfast. The place was empty. I went to the counter
and waited for a few moments. I heard no sounds coming from the
kitchen, or smell any odor of cooking. "Hello?" I ventured,
with my now well-practiced feminine voice. "Anybody here?"
I called out, tentatively. No answer.
- I knew I wasn't supposed to go behind
the service counter, but I did, because I was hungry. I searched
around for any of the kitchen staff, while on the lookout for
something to eat. I found a large muffin, apple and cinnamon
with raisins, and found coffee in the coffeemaker. I went back
to the dining area and sat down to ponder what was going on,
as I nibbled my muffin and enjoyed my coffee.
- The silence was eerie, and it gave me
shivers up my spine. I could almost hear my own heart beating.
This room usually hosted five maids at this hour, including Lennox,
the night maid, who came to take one last cup of tea before retiring.
I thought I heard a sound, and called out again, "Hello?
Anyone?". It must have been a refrigerator switching on.
- I finished my coffee, and cleaned up the
muffin crumbs. I placed my cup in the used dish rack, and left.
- I walked through the servant's wing of
the house, looking for anyone. The place was deserted. I knocked
on several locked doors, calling out, but no response was to
be had from any of them. Not even any quiet shuffling, or snoring.
I was getting nervous at this point. There had to be someone
in the place.
- I remembered that Mr. Lavelle, the elderly
groundskeeper, and only male staffer of Madam's household, arrived
around six in the morning. He was the only staffer not residing
in-house. He should be tending to the garden in the back at this
hour. I turned on my heels and started walking briskly back along
the path I came. I passed Madam's study, and found it unlocked.
I peered inside, and I only heard her clock ticking slowly away.
"Madam?" I tentatively called, a little apprehension
in my voice. Usually her response was quick. I entered, making
sure I was not observed.
- On her desk, I found no clues as to what
happened, why the place was apparently deserted. Madam was neat,
organized, and regular. She put everything away before leaving
her study, unless I was there. She trusted me with all her correspondence
and business paperwork. That in itself was extraordinary, because
Madam was not a naturally trusting person.
- I left the study, closing the door behind
me. I resumed my quick pace toward the back door, to the garden,
where Mr. Lavelle would be working right now. The cool morning
air greeted me, caressing my nylon-sheathed legs, all the way
up my skirt, raising goosepimples on my skin. "Mr. Lavelle?"
I called out, before stepping off the patio. I heard no answer,
so I figured he must have started working elsewhere on the large
estate grounds, maybe in his garden shed.
- I walked over to the shed, and called
his name again. Nothing. The shed was locked, so he wasn't here.
This was getting a bit spooky, if not frightening. I was alone
here, exposed. I started walking around the house, to see if
Mr. Lavelle would be somewhere around.
- The old groundskeeper was nowhere to be
found, and when I came around to the front of the house, I saw
that Madam's car was gone. I found myself wishing that someone
was here, anyone, so I could have an explanation for what was
going on. This was very unsettling.
- I starting walking down to the gate, a
distance of about a hundred yards along the sinuous, tree-shrouded
driveway. As I rounded the last bend, I could see the street
through... the open gate! My heart was pounding hard as I quickened
my pace, the doorway to freedom in sight. I could not believe
that Madam or anyone on the staff would be so careless as to
leave the gate open like this.
- I came up to the gate and stopped, looking
at the street beyond, maybe thirty feet away. I hesitated briefly,
my fear of exposure in my current dress temporarily overpowering
my common sense, the latter eventually reminding me that I looked
just as convincing as any real woman around. I turned my head
to look behind me, a reflex, and took the first step to liberation.
- I walked determinedly down the last thirty
feet to the street, but in my mind, the memories of humiliation
and pain gave way to the tender moments Madam had given me since
then, the guidance, the lavishing of gifts, the raucous and outrageous
sex... something that I had never experienced with any girlfriend
in my previous life...
- I remembered her words when we walked
in the snow together, as my pace slowed. Her confidences about
her childhood. Madam's exposing her deepest thoughts and feelings
to me in the year we have been together. The meaning of that
old Barbie doll, faded but not forgotten. My own heart began
to feel for her, and my mind started to make a list of what I
would miss about Madam...
- I stopped at the sidewalk, and looked
around. It was a calm weekday morning, and the occasional luxury
sedan rolled by, carrying their occupants to their daily routine.
The smell of lilacs in bloom inundated my senses, reminding me
of Madam's perfume. I looked down at myself, my gorgeous body,
one that I had always dreamed of having, the one I fantasized
about when I wore women's undergarments on the sly, and wondered
what would happen if I left, never to come back.
- I realized then what Madam meant to me,
and more poignantly, what I meant to her. I could never have
dreamed of finding a woman who would both love me and cater to
my taste for cross-dressing, who would take care of me, pamper
me, and introduce me to some interesting, though excitingly kinky
ways of spicing up my sex life. I felt deeply ashamed for even
thinking about betraying Madam's kindness in such a way.
- I stood on the curb for maybe ten minutes,
tears running down my face, sobbing quietly. Several cars passed
by, but apart from a passing glance, none of their occupants
took any notice of me. I made up my mind. This could not go further.
I turned around and marched back up the driveway, back to the
life that was literally given to me, back to a life that I had
become accustomed to. Back to Madam.
- Act II - Redemption
- The house came into view, and I stopped
cold in my tracks when I saw Madam's car in its usual place.
My color drained completely, and I started to fear what was awaiting
me inside. My legs shook, making the last steps up to the front
door difficult. Was this a trap? Set for me to fall into, automatically
earning me punishment for my misdeeds? What misdeeds? I returned,
- I stopped at the front door, the tears
having returned to my eyes, and I was trembling in sheer terror.
My shaking hand went for the doorknob, when the door opened.
I jumped in surprise, and stepped back in fear. Madam was there,
smiling warmly, extending her arms to me. She saw my hesitation,
my tears, my trembling, my wide-open eyes, my drained expression
of horror, and tears came to her eyes too.
- "Come, Barbie. You have come all
this way, now come all the way. You know why you came back, my
beloved Barbie Doll. Because you know what you mean to me. Your
heart is pure, Barbie, that's why you came back." It was
a test, a trap, but I passed... I avoided the snare...
- I took the last steps to Madam's waiting
arms. I was shaking so much I could barely keep my balance. I
nearly fell into Madam's embrace, and she tightly hugged me,
caressing my back gently, letting me spill my tears onto her
shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." I sobbed. Madam hushed
me, and said, "I know, Barbie. And I forgive you."
- The day was one of celebration, of my
year as Barbie, of my passing the test of loyalty and love for
Madam. I still felt guilt at even thinking of leaving Madam,
leaving her alone and unloved, betrayed.
- The whole staff was there, as well as
Mr. Lavelle. It was a full-blown party, until lunch, when we
all had a meal together. I tried to put on a happy face, but
unless I forced it, the smile sagged away quickly. The meal ended,
and after a heartfelt toast to me from Madam, the staff dispersed
and went back to their duties. Madam took me by the shoulder
and guided me gently to her study.
- We both sat down on a couch opposite her
desk, side by side. She took my hands in hers, and spoke in an
- "A year ago, you were here, and you
decided to accept my offer. Since then, we have gone through
a lot together, and we both have committed deeds that we regretted
later. Long before that, I have had those dilemmas, having to
do something but regretting its necessity, my conscience catching
up with me. I have found ways of dealing with my pent-up emotions,
and bondage is one of them." I nodded my understanding,
and replied, "I need a serious tying up right now... maybe
- Madam stroked my cheek, wiping a tear
away. "What do you feel, right now? What do you want to
do to yourself?"
- "I feel dirty. What turned me around
was what you said, last winter, when we walked in the snow, when
those big flakes were falling," Madam squeezed my hand gently,
"I remember. I opened my heart to you, because I knew you
- I continued. "I feel like I betrayed
you, walking out like that. I want you to punish me, Madam."
"Barbie..." she started, "No, Madam. I deserve
this. Take me downstairs. Please, punish me." Madam stood
up, and towered over me. "Young lady, I will not. You will
punish yourself." I looked up at her, shocked. "Madam?"
- "You are now a grown woman. Yes,
a woman. You have always wanted this. Now you have it. And now
you will know what I do to cleanse myself, as a woman with a
conscience. Is that what you want to do, clear your conscience?"
I nodded, "Yes, Madam." She extended a hand, "Come
- Act III - Downstairs
- The dungeon where I was punished the first
time was just a place for minor or first time transgressions.
Its primary functon, well fulfilled, was to scare the hell out
of anyone unfortunate enough to have raised Madam's ire. The
"downstairs" one, accessed via a secret door in the
first dungeon, was equipped with much more technological, and
frightening, devices to inflict pain, and was used for those
that more seriously irritated her. And something more.
- "Each of these devices is capable
of inflicting punishments of various types. There is strict confinement,
crushing, lashing, shocks, lacerations, traction, you name it.
The other difference with most torture devices is that many can
be used solo. That's why I come down here alone when my conscience
nags at me. You will choose one, and subject yourself to it.
Or you may not. It's your choice, or it's mine."
- I looked at Madam with a measure of disbelief,
both from the order to submit willingly, and the fact that Madam
herself was a frequent victim of these infernal machines. I decided
that it would be better if I chose my own punishment. Madam may
have mellowed over the past year, but she was still capable of
being very severe in her displinary measures.
- Madam showed and described each one to
me. I decided on a confinement device that would be impossible
to release myself from once committed. It was a kind of plastic
encapsulation of the entire body, similar to a vacuum bed, but
the soft plastic hardened and adhered to the body and the board.
Only a breathing hole was left open. I also requested that my
ears be plugged and my eyes blindfolded to totally isolate me
from my surroundings.
- I undressed, plugged my ears, lay down
on the table, and blindfolded myself. I could hear nothing and
see nothing, but felt the soft plastic sheet draping itself around
me, then begin to shrink and harden. Soon I could no longer move
at all, much to my alarm, the hardened shell allowing not so
much as a fraction of an inch of liberty. I could breathe only
with difficulty, because my chest was also confined as in a corset.
My senses dulled further because of this.
- In my solitary universe, time seemed to
slow down to a crawl. The strict confinement caused me to panic
somewhat, but I couldn't even struggle against the unyielding
prison. I completely lost track of time. I persisted, willingly,
to endure this absolute deprivation. It was the most difficult
bondage I have ever experienced, even at the hands of Madam.
Now, it was my own doing, and I could only count on Madam to
release me from this prison.
- The complete isolation took its toll,
and I used my only avenue of communication, the breathing hole,
to attempt to beg for release. Madam had promised to do so at
the first sign I gave. I could barely hear my own sounds of distress,
and I was hard-pressed to know how long I was whimpering pitifully
before Madam saved me from my ordeal.
- I could feel some vibrations of something
cutting the plastic, and a dull, distant ripping sound. Then
I felt some cool air over my head and shoulders. I struggled
frantically to try to escape the rest of my plastic prison, the
tears leaking from under my blindfold, my sobs and cries resonating
in the room. Madam stopped her work, and soothed me with a gentle
caress of my cheek and a soft kiss. She removed the blindfold
and the ear plugs, and I was back in the world again.
- When she finally finished releasing me,
she helped my trembling form off the table. I collapsed into
her arms, and thanked her. "Madam, how long was I in there?"
I asked, my voice weak. Madam hugged me tight, and replied, "It
doesn't matter, beloved Barbie Doll. Only that you did it and
did it willingly." She paused, and added, "A little
over six hours." I was stunned. I could have sworn it was
more like six days.
- That day, I passed all the tests Madam
had in mind for me. I swore that I would never try to leave her
again, though she did ensure that any future escape attempts
would be met with appropriate measures. A small RFID chip was
implanted in me, which ensured that I stayed within a certain
radius of Madam or a place of her choice. An alarm would sound
if I strayed outside that zone, or went somewhere forbidden by
Madam, and I would be quickly located, captured, and punished.
- I was also fitted with a discreet collar,
but it concealed a devious device that would definitely ensure
that I was Madam's prisoner. Linked to the RFID chip, if I strayed
outside the permitted radius of Madam or the prescribed location
I was to be restricted to, the collar would contract, strangling
me. Only Madam could remove it, and any attempts to tamper with
it would also result in strangulation. A mild demonstration convinced
me to banish all future thoughts of escape or betrayal. Madam
made sure I was hers to keep, forever.
- I can't say that I regret my choice to
become Barbie Doll. I have everything I want, but I am still
subjected to Madam's whims, though her penchant for cruel humiliation
has been considerably diminished, and has become more of a partnership
- I have become her right hand at the company,
earned her trust to a degree. And none of my former co-workers
suspect who I am, really. I take full advantage of that, and
toy with them in various ways. That gives me a sort of perverted
sense of satisfaction. I admit that some of Madam's wicked ways
have rubbed off on me.
- In retrospect, Madam needed me, to grow,
to evolve. And I needed her, to fulfill some of my wildest fantasies.
We all need a Madam, to keep us in check, to make our dreams
come true, and we all need a Barbie, to make us grow and discover
the person hidden inside us.
- But I remain her virtual prisoner. Part
of me is excited by this captivity, a kind of damsel in distress
dream come true. Sometimes it isn't as rosy, and I long for freedom.
But as I look at Madam, now, compared to that fateful Saturday
morning when I signed my life over to her, I remember that I
made her into what she is today.
- To anyone who may read this one day, if
you ever find your Madam, treasure her, cherish her, bow down
to her, because she is your Mistress, your Goddess, she can give
you everything, as well as take everything away. Do all in your
power to keep such a person in your heart and to keep yourself
in hers. There are very few women like that. In some ways, that's
a good thing. From another viewpoint, it's a shame there aren't
more like her.