About selfbondage and auto erotic bondage

Caliro On Selfbondage


This is an email I recieved as a reply to Anna on Selfbondage.
It was written before I (Anna) had added Tenderfoot88 On Selfbondage.

Dear Anna,
I have read your posting regarding the question on what drives people who practice selfbondage. I'm puzzled by that there are no other answers to this question than your own yet, so I'm sending my answer and hope this will encourage others to participate.

My answer to this question comes from a different view and I think it might apply to some others, maybe.
Let me note that I'll answer the question as if my personal explanation was the actual and ultimately correct reasoning for everybody out there. I do this because it greatly simplifies a text if you don't always have to insert "for me", "in my case", "I think", etc. However I hope it's understood that I am aware of that my personal opinion and experiences are not accurate for everyone, and I hope you (the reader) understand that my reasoning might as well not apply to anybody else but me. Especially if you think differently about this, please note down your motivation and send it to this web page to have people like me thinking over again.
The practice of selfbondage is motivated by two different moods you're in, depending on whether you're planning to executing it.
When you're planning a session, you're not actually planning how to tie yourself up. You're developing a scenario that somebody else has to go through. However as per "Do as you would be done by" the scenario that you create for your fictional victim contains everything that you'd love to be exposed to. You imagine someone is thrown into the setting you have in mind, and how he or she reacts. What would drive him or her crazy? To answer this question you then switch into the role of being the victim. What would turn you on, if you were in the situation? What "cruelties" your master imposes on you could add some spice to the current setup? If you're enjoying to be gagged, your scenario incorporates a nice gag. You love to be humiliated? Why not wearing nothing but pink girly panties and high heels as a man? Or if you are a woman, how about exposing your breasts trough a wide ripped T-shirt, and presenting your ass beneath a skirt that is ducttaped onto your back? If you're into light pain, you might use nipple clamps. And if you're excited by the idea of being forced to do something you'd not do normally, your scenario is extended by the requirement of drinking lots of water two hours before your setting starts. Now tell me, how does it feel to soak your pantiliner while crouching over a diaper you had to crawl over to because you couldn't hold it? As your planning proceeds you're unconsciously switching from being the one who's tying up to the one who is tied up and back several times. Step by step you're creating a hell you'd love to go through.
Then comes the really exciting part of your creation: the test. Like everyone who develops something new, you're excited to test if your predictions on what adds up to a perfect scenario were right. Of course this is also a dangerous part: your excitement has to be kept within a limit by your sanity; you have to be reasonable about your escape methods (plural!!!), the duration spent in bondage, pain, strictness and severity of bondage, in short: the amount of nothing but everything. And then, the moment of truth: is your scenario exciting, or is it boring to endure everything? Is your scenario able to maintain the captive's excitement even those nasty five to ten minutes after the first orgasm? Is the pain you've imposed on "your victim" bearable, or does it kill the lust? Performing selfbondage is the peak of all your work from planning to tidying up. Now is the time to test out what you created, and for every detail you have to ask yourself "does it work out the way I planned it?" ($64 question: the only detail you mustn't ask this question for is ...? - Your release methods. If you have to ask this question for your release methods, you're definitely doing selfbondage the wrong way.)
So as a conclusion, selfbondage is driven by two different moods: the drive to put someone in exciting bondage, and the curiosity whether your ideas are actually adding up to a stunningly awesome scenario.